Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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