we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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