I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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