I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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