...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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