So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize