About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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