Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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