Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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