I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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