I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
