You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
