I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
