im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
