she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
