We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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