I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
