she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize