kristin has been a bad kristin
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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