You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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