apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
