if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
