To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
