I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
