Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
