i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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