Who did Billy Mays play for?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
