He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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