She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
