It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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