Whod you bang
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
