you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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