You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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