Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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