Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
