Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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