Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
