You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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