no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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