mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
