I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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