He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
