me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
