i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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