sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
