btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
