Swine flu. Run for my life!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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