I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize