Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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