Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Two words: nipple clamps
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