Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I will be naked everywhere
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
