That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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