I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize