i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
