Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
