No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
