If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
