ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
