I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Houston, we have a blender
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
