i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
