His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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