I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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