when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i've created a new STD.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
