Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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