The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
