What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
