She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
