I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I have demons in me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
