Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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